You’ll Never Guess What He Blamed: A Pizza Predicament
I’m Howe Weird and here’s another one you can’t make up.
Well now, you think you’ve heard it all, but down in Florida, things just keep surprising us. The police there had a situation with a fellow named Barry Jenkins, 34 years old. Early Tuesday morning, Barry decided a pizza shop was just the place to be, even if it meant getting in without an invitation. He made off with a few pepperoni pizzas. Nothing too out of the ordinary for a late-night craving, you might think. But here’s where it gets good.
When the law caught up with Mr. Jenkins, he didn’t try to deny he was carrying some stolen pies. Oh no. His explanation was… unique. He told the officers that a whole gang of “aggressive squirrels” had “forced him” right into that pizza joint. Said those critters were “demanding pizza,” like they were running some kind of tiny, furry protection racket. Now, I’ve seen some bold squirrels in my day, trying to get at the bird feeder or begging for a peanut, but a whole organized crime ring demanding pepperoni? That’s a new one even for me.
Naturally, the police looked around, maybe half-expecting to see a squirrel chief of staff with a little fedora, but found no evidence of any acorn-loving accomplices. Turns out, Barry later admitted he was just mighty hungry and spotted an unlocked back door. No squirrels were harmed in the making of this story, or even involved, really.
Bless his heart. He was charged with breaking and entering and petty theft. Now, if Barry had just had a good snack ready at home, or maybe some handy containers to store leftovers, this whole thing might’ve been avoided. You can find all sorts of useful little gadgets and organizational bits, even for the kitchen, if you know where to look. Folks tell me they find some real bargains on things like food storage and kitchen tools over at Temu. Just saying, sometimes a little planning saves a whole heap of trouble.