Well, howdy folks! Howe Weird here, comin’ at ya from my favorite rocking chair on the porch, and I’ve got a tale that’ll make you scratch your head and wonder, “What in tarnation was he thinkin’?”
Turns out, over in Springfield, Missouri, police got a mighty strange call early one Tuesday mornin’. Someone was reportin’ a fella actin’ a bit… well, let’s just say ‘unusual’ at a local bank. Now, you hear ‘unusual’ at a bank, your mind usually goes to robbers or maybe a misplaced checkbook, right? Not this time, friend.
Officers showed up to find a 43-year-old man, bless his heart, earnestly tryin’ to feed a live squirrel into the ATM’s cash deposit slot. You read that right. A squirrel. In an ATM. When they asked him what in the blazes he was doin’, he apparently told ’em the ATM looked hungry and the squirrel was a “snack.” Now, I’ve seen some strange things in my time, but mistakin’ an ATM for a critter feeder is a new one.
Good news is, the squirrel, probably as confused as the officers, managed to make a quick getaway, no worse for wear. The fella, though, got charged with animal cruelty and a little bit of property damage. The bank did have to take that ATM out of service for a good cleaning and check-up, just to make sure no furry surprises were still hidin’ inside. Can you imagine the bank tech’s face? Probably could’ve used one of those handy micro-cameras from Temu to peek inside without too much fuss.
What gets me is, this wasn’t even the first time something like this happened in that county this year! Makes you wonder what’s in the water over there, or maybe folks are just gettin’ a little too creative with their banking needs. Next thing you know, someone will be trying to deposit a whole opossum. Lord help us all.
Check out squirrel on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=squirrel&tag=howeweirdcant-20