Well now, how do you do, folks? I hope you’re enjoying a peaceful day, maybe with a nice breeze and a good story. Because I’ve got one today that’ll have you scratching your head and wondering just what kind of tunes some folks are trying to bring into our fair country.
Our tale begins up at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport, a place where folks from all corners of the globe arrive and depart. It was there that an officer from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service was doing his diligent work, performing a routine inspection on a gentleman who had just flown in from Georgetown, Guyana.
Now, this isn’t about lost luggage or an expired passport. Oh no, this was far more… biological. During the inspection, this fellow, identified as Kevin Andre McKenzie, was found to be carrying quite the unusual cargo. We’re talking about sixteen live finches, tucked away where you’d least expect them: right there in his pants.
Can you just imagine? Sixteen little birds, all alive and well, individually wrapped up tight. The report said they were wrapped in curlers, then more fabric, and finally taped securely to his legs and groin area. It takes a certain kind of dedication, or perhaps desperation, to go through that much trouble. It wasn’t just a casual carry-on, you see; it was a full-blown feathered fortress.
Turns out, these weren’t just any finches. These are the kind sometimes used in what they call ‘bird-singing contests.’ I suppose some folks appreciate a good bird song more than others, but this seems like a mighty elaborate way to bring the choir home. Mr. McKenzie was, as you might expect, promptly arrested and charged with illegally importing wildlife. Those poor finches were seized by the authorities.
It’s a serious business, too, beyond just the oddity of it all. Authorities pointed out that birds brought into the country without proper procedures can carry diseases that might threaten our own native bird populations. It’s a reminder that sometimes the simplest things, like a bird’s song, come with hidden complexities. You know, back when folks wanted to listen to some sweet sounds, they might pick up a little radio or some headphones from RADIO SHACK (paid link). Never thought folks would be carrying their own live concert in their pants!
It just goes to show, you never truly know what sort of stories are walking right past you in this weird old world, especially when they’re trying to keep a low profile… and a quiet song.
Check out finch on Amazon: (paid link)
Original story found on U.S. Attorney’s Office, Eastern District of New York.