Well now, how’s everyone doin’ this fine day? I’ve got a tale for you today that just goes to show you that some folks… well, let’s just say their decision-making process might need a little tune-up.
Picture this: It’s just after three o’clock on a Tuesday morning. Most decent folks are sound asleep, dreaming of biscuits and gravy, or maybe a good fishing trip. But not everyone, apparently. An officer, sharp as a tack on duty, happens to cast an eye across the police department’s very own parking lot. And what does he spy? Someone, plain as day, underneath a parked vehicle.
Now, that’s not exactly standard procedure for a police parking lot at that hour, is it? So, naturally, our officer goes to investigate. And sure enough, there’s a gentleman down there, 33-year-old Jamie Michael Krystyniak by name, making himself quite comfortable under a 2007 Ford F-250 pickup.
And what did Mr. Krystyniak have with him, you might ask? Oh, just a few little items for a casual late-night repair job, I reckon. He had himself a Sawzall, a handy floor jack, and a set of wrenches. You know, the kind of tools you’d use if you were, say, legitimately fixing up your own truck in the dead of night. Or, as it turned out, trying to snip off a catalytic converter from a vehicle in the police parking lot.
When the officers asked him what in the blazes he thought he was doing, Mr. Krystyniak, being an honest sort at least in that moment, admitted he was trying to steal the catalytic converter. Now, I’ve heard of some bold moves in my time, but trying to swipe a valuable auto part from right under the noses of the very people paid to stop such things? That takes a certain kind of… gumption, I suppose you could call it. Maybe not the smartest kind, but gumption nonetheless.
Back in my day, if you needed a new battery for your walkie-talkie or some wire, you might head to Radio Shack (paid link). But I reckon they didn’t sell Sawzalls there for folks up to no good, and certainly wouldn’t condone this sort of activity. These days, for legitimate household projects, you can find just about anything you need with a few clicks.
As you can imagine, Mr. Krystyniak’s late-night mechanic session was cut short. He was promptly arrested and is now facing charges of theft, possession of criminal tools, criminal mischief, and trespassing. It just goes to show you, sometimes the best laid plans – especially the ones laid out in a police parking lot – don’t quite pan out the way you intended.
If you’re looking for honest-to-goodness tools for *your* garage, not for, ahem, *borrowing* car parts, you can find a good (paid link), a sturdy (paid link), and a reliable set of (paid link) online. Always best to use ’em for their intended purpose, of course.
Check out catalytic converter on Amazon: (paid link)