Finding out your neighbor has been ‘borrowing’ your garden tools is one thing. Finding out she’s been using your late husband as fertilizer for her prize-winning ferns is a level of weird that even Florida can’t compete with.
Locals report a Massachusetts woman discovered that her neighbor had unlatched her gate and emptied a brass urn containing her husband’s ashes onto a compost pile. The reason? Apparently, ‘yellow is tacky’ and organic ferns require the best start in life. If you want to keep your own relatives safe from ‘helpful’ neighbors, check out these high-security outdoor motion sensors.
HOWE WEIRD REACTION
Howe Weird here… and I am officially moving to a gated community on Mars. I’ve heard of ‘giving back to the earth,’ but I think this neighbor skipped a few steps in the consent process. Imagine the garden tour: ‘Oh, those ferns look lovely! Is that… John?’ ‘Yes, he’s doing wonders for the drainage.’ Honestly, I’m just wondering if she checked his nitrogen levels first. Even Howe Weird couldn’t make this up.