Good day to you all, hope you’re having a fine one out there. Here at Howe Weird, we stumble across some peculiar happenings from time to time, and today’s tale, well, it certainly falls into that category.
Now, we all know the feeling of opening the fridge, expecting a certain snack, only to find it gone. Maybe a family member got to it first, maybe you just forgot you ate it. Happens to the best of us, right? But for one gentleman down in Florida, the disappearance of his provisions was a matter serious enough to warrant a call to 911. That’s right, the emergency services.
Deputies were dispatched to a residence after receiving a rather unusual report. The caller claimed his lunch meat, specifically his bologna, had been swiped from his refrigerator. Can you imagine? The officers show up, probably expecting something a bit more, shall we say, *urgent*, and they’re met with a man concerned about his cold cuts. Reports indicate the fellow was a bit under the influence when he made the call. He was quite insistent about his missing bologna.
Now, the deputies, they still had a job to do. They took a look around, listened to the man’s account, and after what I’m sure was a thorough investigation into the case of the vanished bologna, they determined that no actual crime had been committed. It just goes to show, sometimes a missing sandwich ingredient isn’t quite an emergency, even if it feels like one when you’re hungry. They gave the man some pointers on how to properly use emergency services, which, let’s be honest, is probably a good idea for all of us to remember from time to time. No arrests were made, proving that sometimes, even a serious bologna situation can be resolved without handcuffs.
You know, it makes you wonder what kind of culinary masterpiece he had planned. A simple sandwich? A fried bologna delight? Whatever it was, the loss clearly hit him hard. Maybe he needed one of those mini-fridges with a lock, or perhaps a good old-fashioned alarm system. Back in the day, a fellow might even try to rig up something creative with parts from an old Radio Shack (paid link) to keep an eye on his provisions. Or, easier yet, maybe just write your name on your lunch. It’s often the simplest solutions, ain’t it?
So, next time your favorite snack goes missing, take a deep breath. Before you dial 911, maybe check under the couch cushions, or just ask around. It might save the deputies a trip, and you some explaining.
Check out bologna on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bologna&tag=howeweirdcant-20 (paid link)
Original story found at: Weird News Today