Well now, howdy folks, pull up a chair and let ol’ Howe tell you a tale that’s got more twists than a mountain road. Down in Florida, where the sun shines bright and the critters are… well, they’re just different, a story unfolded recently that truly makes you scratch your head and wonder.
It seems a fellow, a spry 70-year-old gentleman, had himself a rather unusual houseguest. Not a stray cat, mind you, nor a particularly large dog. No, this was a 12-foot-long alligator, and he called it Godzilla. Now, I’ve heard of folks keeping all sorts of pets, from parakeets to pythons, but a 12-foot gator named Godzilla? That’s a new one on me.
The whole affair came to light when Godzilla decided to take a dip, not in some swampy bayou, but right there in the man’s backyard swimming pool. Can you imagine? You wake up, pour your coffee, step out to enjoy the morning air, and there, doing the backstroke in your chlorinated oasis, is a creature that could swallow a small car. I reckon that’d be enough to make anyone spill their coffee, and maybe a little more.
When the wildlife officials arrived, probably expecting a small, confused gator, they were met with Godzilla. The owner, bless his heart – *oops, almost slipped there, Howe!* – the owner, he calmly explained that Godzilla wasn’t just some random swamp monster. Oh no, Godzilla was his pet, his companion of 11 long years. He even went so far as to say that Godzilla had its very own room inside the house. Now, I’m picturing a room with a very sturdy door and maybe a sign that says “Beware of Pet.” And as for Godzilla’s diet? Forget kibble. This gator was living the high life on a steady menu of raw chicken and steak. I tell you, some folks’ pets eat better than I do!
You can bet the neighbors had a thing or two to say about this. It wasn’t the first time they’d seen Godzilla enjoying the pool, and I imagine their backyard barbecues had taken on a certain… edge. “Is that a splash, or is Godzilla just stretching?” they might’ve wondered. Their concerns for safety were certainly understandable. I mean, a 12-foot alligator isn’t exactly the kind of neighbor you want borrowing a cup of sugar, or, heaven forbid, wandering over for a friendly game of fetch.
The wildlife folks, being professionals, had to do what they do. They carefully removed Godzilla from the pool. I can only imagine the logistics of that operation. It probably wasn’t as simple as scooping up a goldfish. Godzilla was then relocated to a licensed facility, a place better equipped to handle a creature of that size and appetite. As for the 70-year-old owner, well, he was cited for illegal possession of an alligator. Turns out, even if you’ve got a special room and a gourmet diet, a 12-foot gator isn’t quite the same as a tabby cat in the eyes of the law.
It just goes to show you, down here in the South, you never quite know what you’re gonna find in someone’s backyard. And while I’m all for loving your pets, some critters are best left to the wild, or at least to folks who got their permits in order. He probably didn’t get his pet supplies from the old RADIO SHACK, that’s for sure, though I bet he could’ve used some heavy-duty wiring for that ‘alligator room’ of his. What a world, what a world!
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